When the UST becomes RST

There can be major problems when the Unresolved Sexual Tension between a couple on a TV show becomes resolved. Sure that initial payoff is sweet, but the path that lay thereafter never runs smooth.

Result A: The resolution does not live up to the build up.
Take Donna and Josh on The West Wing. They've been circling each other for 6.5 years. It's been fun circling. They have a witty banter (thought it was much wittier when Sorkin was at the helm) and sweet friendship that grew lovelier and lovelier as the years went by. And then they kissed. And it wasn't a great kiss. I mean, I've been waiting for that kiss for years, and it was kind of awkward and not unlike watching siblings kiss (not that siblings would use their tongues like that). There was no heat left. I blame this on the fact that Bradley Whitford and Janel Moloney have probably become great friends over the years and were maybe not comfortable with the sexiness. Or the fact that no matter how great the kiss, it was never going to be good enough for all of the build-up. Add to that, they've now had two scenes of them in bed but not another kiss and I think the powers that be realised the heat is no longer there either and are trying to give us the happily ever after without subjecting us to the awkward groping.

Result B: The resolved sexual tension leads to character assassination
For this model we look to The Gilmore Girls. Specifically we look to Luke and Lorelei. We know from the pilot episode that Luke and Lorelei are meant to be together. Mainly because of the witty banter (witty banter is an absolute necessity in all relationships with UST) and because Luke, while gruff and unkempt, is basically one of the most crushable men who ever breathed and he's carried a torch for Lorelei since the moment he met her. And Amy Sherman-Palladino threw us a bone and got them together after five seasons. And they were lovely together. At first.

But AS-P, perhaps realising that without the UST there was precious little tension at all left in their relationship, started writing characters in odd ways. Luke became secretive and untrustworthy. Worse, he became completely oblivious to Lorelei's feelings. And Lorelei, and this is the true crime, became a doormat. So this couple whom I invested so much hope in for five years has now become a couple I hope breaks up because quite frankly, I hate the both of them. They are no longer the characters I loved. In searching for tension, the writers killed the characters.

Result C: The UST goes on for so long, we no longer care.
Say hello to Agents Mulder and Scully. For seven years they worked together, bantering wittily back and forth, and, dare I say, flirting openly. And then, they conceive a child. But we don't find out about it until after the child is born. They never show it. And, if I remember correctly, we find out they were together. But never really see it. Because Mulder left the show. And then, in the final episode, they're kissing and sleeping in the same bed and I couldn't have cared less. For two reasons: the first, because I was so damn confused at that point I didn't know up from down; and two, they had been giving each other the eyes for ten years at that point. Ten years. After ten years you just want them to move on.

Result D: The relationship is messy (but the sex is hot)
Once upon a time in Sunnydale, a Slayer named Buffy fell in love with a vampire named Angel. But he left her because due to a kind of stupid curse (really, think about it, it's dumb) they could never be together. So Buffy had a fling with a college boy but got her heart trampled on again, then tried for a normal relationship with average-Joe, Riley, but couldn't really commit because he wasn't dark enough for her. During this time, another vampire named Spike first became obsessed, then fell in love and became really obsessed with our fair Slayer. But he helped her out and I think truly did love her and they had a tentative friendship if you read between the snark (the Buffy version of witty banter). But Buffy wasn't going to be tapping that ass because after her past relationships, girlfriend had issues and Spikey was still kind of soulless. Then she died and her ever-so-helpful friends pulled her out of heaven because the four of them didn't like having to do all the work that she used to do on her own. (Maybe those are my issues.)

So Buffy comes back and what with the being yanked from heaven, is kinda depressed. But Spike is being a friend and helping her out. And then gets pissy that she only comes to him when she needs something and not because she likes him likes him. So he turns her away, which totally turns depressed Buffy on, because she just wants to feel something. And this leads to a torrid affair that fells houses, destroys furniture and leaves network censoring by the wayside. Totally hot. But really damaged at the same time. Nothing romantic. Just lust and guilt and lots of sweaty moaning. And she ends it because it's not healthy and she understands that, even if he doesn't.

[Then of course, he macks on Anya, tries to rape Buffy which drives him to get his soul back to be a better man, he goes insane, she pities him and then believes in him, they work together, he gets her back in the fight, they spend the last three nights before the apocalypse together and delare their love for each other before he croaks so in the end it's the most romantic relationship on the show, but not as a result of resolving the UST in the season before.]

Result E: The show becomes boring
Eight words: Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. 'Nough said.

So what do these models show us? UST can make a show great. In fact, you can base whole shows around it (Moonlighting was quite popular for awhile), but in the end, it will most likely be your enemy. This is why it's so important not to base your whole show around the will they-won't they question. Because in the end, the answer will never be satisfactory.